Michelle Elman on Being the “Single Friend”


Michelle Elman is a body confidence coach, a brain tumor survivor, and guess what? She’s single. Her friend, Amalie Lee, is an anorexia survivor, a writer, and she’s also single. These two stunning women and their bodies “have been through hell and back,” but they want you to know that being single has nothing to with their bodies. Michelle recently took to Instagram to post a powerful photo alongside Amalie.

“We are both the ‘single friend’ in our respective friendship groups,” she captioned the photo above. “We both know that our bodies have nothing to do with our relationship status but society would have us believe otherwise. I get told that my body is the problem all the time: ‘You have a pretty face — if only you lost some weight, boys would find you attractive.’ ‘Boys don’t like girls at your size'”

Amalie is no stranger to this criticism either. She’s frequently told to “stop being so picky” in order to find a boyfriend. “As if having an expectation for how you are treated is a bad thing,” Michelle wrote.

“As if our sole purpose in life should be to be paired up. As if our worth and self-esteem should be dependent on whether other people find us attractive,” she wrote. “My body is not the reason I am single. Being single is not a problem that needs to be fixed. Regardless of what size you are, your body and your weight is never something that should be altered for someone else.”

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single! Being single does not mean you’ve failed at something, nor does it mean there’s something about yourself that needs to change.

“Society tells you that one of your main goals should be to be in a relationship,” Michelle wrote. “Society tells you if you aren’t in a relationship, you should make all the changes necessary in order to attain one. Your body included. You are told to change the characteristics that make you stand out, you are told to lower your standards and you are told to change your bod.”

But Michelle and Amalie are not succumbing to these societal pressures, and they don’t care for anyone trying to change them because their own self-confidence is the most important thing of all.

“We choose to keep our bodies over boys,” Michelle closed her message. “We choose to chase our goals, not men’s approval. And if we find love on the way, great, but for now, we can rely on our own self-love.”